Couple hugging

We Star In Our Own Story

The last year has been rough. Layoff. COVID-19. The death of my sister. A whole slew of other bad crap piled on and for a while, I saw no end in sight. All I could think was how much worse it would get before it got better.

Sound familiar? It’s a lot like how drama works. The protagonist faces numerous challenges. There are setbacks and steps forward. Two dogs fight for one bone. The protagonist learns, changes, and adapts to ultimately win the prize.

My story goes back about a year. I was laid off from my job in September. I threw myself into the job hunt, figuring in the then hot labor market I’d be out of work a couple weeks. Boy, was I wrong…

I applied to literally hundreds of positions. It was supposed to be a hot market for developers – but the response rate seemed very low. I put everything I could into the search, it didn’t go well and it was rough. I sarcastically said to my wife when things finally happened, they’d happen all at once.

It affected me. It affected my relationship with my wife and kids. I wasn’t the easiest guy to deal with, and this was before the pandemic hit.

Once COVID-19 hit, the train went totally off the rails. There was never a shortage of programming postings, but the responses completely dried up for a good two months. Applications went unanswered – no “Hey, Tim, we got your resume;” no “Go pound sand and leave us alone”; very few “let’s talk” replies.

While things were shut down – like probably everyone else on Earth, I decided to try learning things that could land me another job. I took some Udemy classes (I have come to love Udemy); I actually passed a Microsoft certification (no easy task); and I started a garden (the poblanos are doing very well; my prize scorpion peppers not so much).

Throughout I did some soul searching, had long talks with my wife. Is it time to leave my field? Am I all used up? Do I even want to do this anymore? They were painful questions with no easy answers. I was miserable.

After months of feeling this way I made a decision – to hell with the industry. I’m going to focus on the relationships with the people I love, because whether I succeed or I fail these people have stood by me. I’ve been a prick and this isn’t right; it’s not me. I figured if I worked on righting the relationships with people I love, other things would sort themselves out.

It didn’t happen instantly, but things with my family and friends did start to improve – as if the last snow of winter was melting away in warm spring winds. My mood was brighter, I felt a sense of hope that was sorely missing. I made peace with how things would be.

Finally about a month ago I had some interviews finally go well. There were second and third rounds, and finally an offer. They asked to talk to me the morning I was going into a gauntlet interview (a 2 hour Zoom panel interview). I said OK, I ran the gauntlet – I didn’t feel like it went well, so I was ready to get another rejection. I called the first company back.

We’d like to hire you, Tim, but the job will only last six months max. What do you think?

It’s Friday, could I just have the weekend to decide?

Sure.

So I get off the phone and call the second company back.

Hey, I just got an offer and I-

You what?

I just got an offer and wanted to let you know-

Give me a couple hours.

A couple hours later I got another offer – for a permanent position. I verbally accepted and took my wife and daughter out to dinner that night.

When I got home I held my wife and I welled up. There was such a sense of relief after so much uncertainty. We made it through – we weren’t unscathed. The experience changed both of us, we agree. I’m not the same as I was at the beginning of the story.

These kinds of experiences are what drama is about. Live long enough and you’ll have them too. Let them fuel your writing.